1. Learn to say "No!" - As a people pleaser, this is so hard for me. After all, I don't want someone to think less of me for denying them what they're asking! So, the old "me" would give a resounding "yes" while cringing on the inside knowing that I was already overextended. We all need to learn to prioritize. There's a big difference between doing what is necessary and doing what is simply a good thing to be doing. If you are so busy that time with your God and your family is suffering, then something needs to go. And that something may be church responsibilities. Don't tune me out just yet. There was a time recently when I was asked to teach Sunday School. I felt pressured because it was for the church, I'd taught in years past and didn't know of anyone else who would step up to do it. Plus, there was that aspect of wanting to please people. So I said "yes". My teaching stint lasted 6 months. What I found was that after taking care of my family/home and my normal 3 jobs, I had nothing left to give those 3rd and 4th graders. They got the leftovers....which just wasn't right. So I stepped down from the good responsibility of teaching and what do you know? They found someone else to teach relatively quickly and those children are much better off without my half-hearted efforts. On rare occasions, my husband steps in and says "no" for me because I am too stubborn to admit that I can't be superwoman and do everything. Sit down with a list and prioritize your life. Put God at the top (not your church functions, but your actual relationship with God), then your husband, then your children....everything that comes after those is negotiable. If possible, back out of some of the lesser things on your plate and see how it frees up your time and energy. Then reevaluate. It's freeing to not try to be everything to everybody. Because somewhere along the line, someone will get short-changed and you definitely don't want those closest to you getting the short end of the stick.
2. De-Clutter Your Home - All of us decorate our homes differently based on our sentimentality, finances and personal taste. Some have collections of books on shelves and curio cabinets full of knick knacks, furniture in every corner, and pictures on every wall. Others of us, prefer a more simple decorating scheme. But everyone needs to take the time to declutter their home, at least once a year. I am amazed at the "stuff" that piles up seemingly out of nowhere! Last year, I decided I was tired of having extra stuff that we did not use and clothes that I never wore. Extra furniture that we did not need. Extra paperwork to which we would never refer. So, I got rid of most of it. I'm not much of a sentimental person, but still the school paperwork from both kids had accumulated to stockpile levels. I trashed it all except the most cherished pieces. Furniture we did not need was given away. I used to buy decor based on looks in magazines or other people's homes instead of things that actually meant something to me. Those silly pieces were also purged. Call me lazy, but the less pieces of furniture and "stuff" to dust, the better! We have 2 pictures hanging on the walls in our entire 2500sqf house...and one of those will be coming down sometime later this year. I am tired of having things sitting around that I have to continually clean that mean absolutely nothing to me. I challenge you to go through a room each week and donate, pass along to a friend, or throw away what you do not use or need. A nice $300 Kitchenade mixer is great, if you use it....but useless if it just sits on your kitchen countertops because it's easier to just use the hand mixer. Think long and hard about the things you have in your home and whether they are worth the time and effort to clean that it takes to have them there. Your cleaning schedule will simplify and for me, the simplicity of decor and color in a room is a breath of fresh air.
3. Organize Your Closet - Ideally, this should be done twice a year....spring and fall. It takes me an entire afternoon, but is well worth it. Go through every item of clothing in your closet. Make sure it all fits (try it on), is clean and doesn't need any quick fixes (missing buttons, hem coming undone, etc). It's silly to have items hanging in your closet that you can't wear due to weight gain/loss, missing buttons, or stains. Take the time to get everything into workable and wearable order. Throw away or donate items you have not worn in a year unless you realize it's a classic piece that you may want down the road. The $3 t-shirt you got at Walmart on sale is not a classic piece to be used over the next 10 years. Do the same with your shoes. Be ruthless. You need to make your closet work for you. There is no reason why you should stand there morning after morning wondering what to wear. Everything in your closet should be ready-to-wear with something else. Don't buy a skirt because it's such a great price, only to realize you need a sweater, shoes and jewelry to go with it. Then it's not a great deal anymore and you accumulate a sweater, shoes and jewelry that may only go with that one outfit further limiting your wardrobe. I have always been the girl with tons of clothes and 100+ pairs of shoes. I can honestly say that it's been a year since I purged my wardrobe and shoes and I don't regret it at all. You should love the vast majority of the clothing in your closet - love the way it fits you and the way you feel while wearing it. Why else would you deign to give it space in your wardrobe?
4. Streamline Your Routine - There is usually something you can do to streamline your daily rituals. Go back to item #1 and look at your priorities. If God is your top priority, then some things in your schedule may need to change in order to accommodate spending time with Him. For me, this meant getting up earlier which necessitated going to bed early. I enjoy a fully cooked breakfast each morning; in order to do that and not get up even earlier, my personal hygiene rituals had to change. That's when the longer hair that needed blowdrying, multiple products and a straightening iron went out the door. You can find ways to make your daily routines easier, more efficient and simpler. Maybe that means getting rid of things entirely or trying a new method. Think about what you do and how you do it....then lay out a plan to simplify the essentials and let the rest go. You probably won't even miss what you end up leaving behind. Even in the midst of my attempts at simplifying my routine, there are times when life gets extremely hectic. I'm in one of those times right now and you probably are or will be soon. For me, a daily list typed out in Microsoft Word is the only thing that keeps me on track. I type out a list of everything I need or hope to accomplish in a given week. Then I break it down into the things that absolutely MUST be done today and put those at the top of my to-do list. There are inevitably things that are not absolutely necessary but that I'd like to accomplish; and I feel no regrets if those don't get done by the end of the day. They just get pushed off until the next day when I reevaluate and start out again with the necessities. Usually, by the end of the week I've managed to accomplish the wants as well as the needs. Plus, my Type-A personality enjoys crossing things off my list! For the next few weeks I am living by my lists so I don't forget to do something important; it helps me feel streamlined and productive in the midst of the chaos that is my schedule right now (and also keeps my aging brain from forgetting things). About the middle of August, things should settle down and I'll be in a lull period. That's the time for me to tackle those projects and books that I've not had time to indulge in lately. For me, this whole system helps me put into practice my efforts at simplicity even when life seems to be utterly crazy. And in those crazy times, the streamlining of my normal routine (meal prep, personal hygiene, housecleaning) is felt so much more because even in the midst of the chaos, there is still time for my quiet time, my breakfasts, family movie nights and special events with friends....things that I don't want to push aside because I'm "just too busy right now."
Sometimes, I think we get so caught up in the way we are currently living that we just go with the flow. We don't take the time to THINK about anything but just trudge along in the same old rut. But thinking about what you're doing and why you do it and how you could do it better is worth the effort because then you can effect change. So, I encourage you to THINK about your house, your closet, your busywork, your life....and then put a plan into place to change what needs to be changed so that your life and goals are much simpler and easier to attain! Ask yourself: "Why do I have this (duty, routine, material possession) if I don't absolutely love it? Why should I give it my love and valuable time?" It'll help you cull your life down to the essentials; thereby giving you more time to really appreciate and do the most important things.
I'm learning (slowly) to work on the first point...saying "no"! I'm thankful to have a great husband who also steps in (when necessary) to say no for me too! ;)
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to say "no", at least for me, because I think people will judge me if I do. Especially in the realm of the church or school responsibilities for the kids. But it always helps me to remember that God doesn't think less of me for doing so, even if they do! And sometimes it helps to "hide" behind Michael's decisions :-)
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