Thoughts on contentment and chasing dreams

I don't know how much this actually has to do with the pursuit of femininity, but it's what is on my heart today; and since this is a personal blog meant to help me (along with others), I'm just going to put it all out there. It helps to have a place to get things out of my head and down in print where I can go back later and reflect on them.  So, if you're here just for fashion tips, then feel free to skip this post.


**Random soapbox rant (feel free to skip this part if you're not theologically inclined).  In my quiet time this morning, I was reading in Jeremiah - the passage about the potter and the clay.  This got me thinking about the preaching I heard for the first 25 years of my life.  Things along the lines of  "Don't put yourself on the shelf!" or "If you step outside the will of God, he will no longer use you and He'll put you on a shelf until such time as you repent."  This seems ludicrous to me.  As a believer in a sovereign God - a God who chooses the clay, molds it himself for whatever purpose he so desires (some to honor and some to dishonor), and uses the clay for his own glory - I find it strange to say that we (the vessels) have the power to jump off the potter's wheel and sit idly by outside the will of the Potter.  We can do NOTHING outside of the Potter's will.  We are just lumps of clay.  My sin doesn't render me unusable to God, otherwise (logically), my sin would then be greater than God's will and purpose.  And I certainly don't have the power to shelve myself until such time as I decide to repent and be "used" again.  God is so far greater than my sin.  Anyway, just my theological opinion - not trying to open a can of worms here.**

So, back to my original topic.  And a little background.  Recently I got a "wild hair" and decided to redo my kitchen.  Now, mind you, my kitchen is only 3 years old and is beautiful the way it is.  No, it's not a designer kitchen, but it has always been my favorite room in the house.  It's huge and with 6 windows it gets a lot of natural light.  So, what's not to love?  Well, I honestly have no idea - but, hankering for some change in my life, I decided it could be better and started looking.  The internet is a very dangerous place for those of us inclined to want something different!  My husband came home from work one day to find paint samples splotched all over the walls, the curtains came down next and my kitchen counterop paraphenalia was removed.  After repeated trips to Sherwin Williams, $25 worth of paint samples (I now have 4 colors splotched on every wall in my kitchen), beadboard cut to measurements from Lowes, a gazillion more paint samples taped over my walls, and no curtains on my windows I am now left with a totally bizarre-looking kitchen that HAS to be repainted at the very least.  I've spent hours and hours on the laptop, looking at kitchens, comparing their cabinet color/paint color with mine, bemoaning the contracter-installed countertops that we didn't get to pick out, trying to decide on curtains, virtually "painting" rooms on websites....while my house sits uncleaned, my kids do their own thing, and I barely speak to my husband in the evenings.  I think about it while laying in bed, while driving, while working.  Yes, call me obsessive - ir runs in the family!  And what, you ask, does all of this have to do with contentment and dreams?

Here's the thing - we (or maybe just "I") tend to get so caught up in chasing our dreams and looking for change, that we overlook or seriously underestimate the value of being content with what we already have.  We want a house in the mountains one day.  I could spend years looking for that perfect house, on the perfect mountain; and then concentrate on ways to make it happen financially. And that's all well and good. We'll be actively pursuing this dream in the next 5 years. But at the same time, it would be so easy to get so caught up in the dream of the mountain house that I fail to appreciate and enjoy the beautiful suburban home we have right now!  With this kitchen redo, I find myself pining for light-colored countertops, different kitchen cabinets, a wood range hood, beautiful natural beadboard and light airy curtains for all my windows.  Pinterest is a trap for the discontented among us!  The reality is that I have a $200 budget and a kitchen that is humongous...the paint alone will take up a good portion of my budget and now I'm forced to paint because of my samples-gone-mad spree of the past week.  As much as I WANT new countertops, it's just not going to happen.  There are way more pressing financial needs (and my husband's patience for redecorating only stretches so far....and that's not far).  I need to be content and work with the countertops we already have.  Same with the cabinets, the furniture and the fixtures.  Maybe one day I'll have the freedom to change those things - and then again, maybe I won't. But instead of wasting my time on chasing the future, I'm going to try to be content with the present. 

In closing, there's nothing wrong with chasing dreams.  We all have them and strive to achieve them in different ways. Don't stop pursuing those dreams - just don't lose sight of the beauty that you already have in the pursuit of something better in the future. 

photo courtesy of: http://awarenessoftheheart.com/2011/08/04/chasing-dreams/