Dressing the Apple (i.e. the post where I get very longwinded)

Ugh! This new blog experience is driving me a bit batty.  I lay awake at night and can't sleep because thoughts of everything I want to write are running through my mind!  I told my husband this morning I should have just gotten up and at least typed out the basic gist of my thoughts just to get them out of my head and then maybe, just maybe, I could get some sleep.  If this continues, I may be forced to resort to those drastic measures at 2am!

As I lay there last night thinking of everything I wanted to write about dressing the Apple shape, I realized most of what I was contemplating were just ways to camoflauge body flaws and highlight body strengths.  Again, you can get this from any fashion magazine or a million sites on the internet; or maybe from your own family members who struggle to dress the same body shape because it was genetically gifted to them as well.  I began to think about ways to dress the Apple shape that highlight femininity since that is more the focus of my blog.  So, most of the things I'll address today are not ways to look like you've lost 10 pounds or ways to camoflauge a belly although some of what I can will apply to that. Most of all, I want to give tips on how to look and feel more feminine by working with the shape God gave you.

So, what is an Apple shape?  Well, a typical Apple shape is a woman with a large bust, thin hips/legs and who tends to gain weight mostly in her upper body.  Now, if you are in "fighting form" and carry little excess fat, you may have a large bust, slightly discernable waist, slim hips and slim legs. What differentiates you from the Asparagus shape is your larger bust and the ability (albeit probably unwanted) to gain any and all weight through your torso.  If you are carrying a few extra pounds, you may have a large bust and a large tummy as well, as most all extra weight will be concentrated in your torso.  Again, I am a Pear, so I do not have experience with this body type personally; however, I know many people in my life and the blogosphere who are Apple-shaped and they will freely admit it is not an easy body to dress (as everyone probably thinks about their shape at some point in their lives).

Now, how to work with and feminize the shape with which you were born:

1.   Do your best to define your waist. - This is not so much a fashion tip as just an emphasis on something mentioned in a previous post.  Your waist is unique to women, as it is one of those fluid curves of the body. Just because yours doesn't curve as much as some women's doesn't mean it should be ignored!   If you're just carrying a few extra pounds, this is easier; but if you're carrying a lot of extra tummy weight, it's still doable just harder.  Wear a belt over your dress, sweater or top. Experiment on where to place it.  If you have no definable waist, try putting the belt up higher under your bust to create a more empire-waisted look.  You can wear a belt down lower on your torso as well.  Personally, I think a sash/scarf/tie, is more flattering on an Apple shape because you can offset the knot/bow of the sash slightly to the side, drawing the eye diagonally across your tummy area instead of directly in the middle.  By the way, when I refer to a belt here, I am not referring to a brown leather belt that you wear with jeans....experiment with skinny belts in various colors/textures. A skinny belt is much easier to manipulate and move around your torso than a big 2" wide leather belt with a silver industrial buckle! 

2.   Play up your legs. - Most Apple-shaped women have beautiful legs. You don't have to strut around in mini skirts to show them off, but take advantage of those feminine curves in your calves and ankles.  Wear cute shoes that play up your legs as one of your better features.  If you can't wear heels, try wedges...they're so much easier to walk in and can be found for summer (peep-toe espadrilles) or winter (wood block heel/suede).  Know your ideal skirt/short length and have your clothes tailored to hit that "sweet spot" (we'll discuss this in a future post).  Your legs are vastly different from a man's so embrace their feminine uniqueness.  Don't hide those gams under capris or full-length pants all the time.

3.   Play up your best upper-body features. - A woman's collarbone and neck area is universally feminine and flattering.  Large busted (modest) women usually tend to steer clear of v-neck or scoopneck shirts because of the risk of overexposure.  But a boatneck top daintily reveals the upper shoulders and collarbone without giving way to immodesty.  Men wear crewneck, v-neck and sometimes even slightly scoopneck shirts....but the boatneck top is specifically designed to show off one of your more flattering features.  Also, necklaces can be used to draw the eye up toward your face, as long as they don't dangle down over your ample bosom.  Try different lengths and see what works for you.  If you feel that wearing a large statement necklace draws too much attention to your bust, then invest in some beautiful, dainty pieces that give just a hint of sparkle to that collarbone area.

4.   Always check your side view. - From what I see every day when I'm out and about, there are few women who own a full-length mirror.  Maybe they don't own a mirror at all.  It is imperative that you be able to view your body from the front and side; if you can wiggle around to get a back view that's even better.  My husband finally bought me a full length mirror for Christmas this past year.  This was after 14 years of climbing up on toilet seats or the rim of the bathtub to be able to see my lower half in the bathroom mirror!  I hate to leave the house until I can see my appearance from top to bottom.  You may think it's vain, but I dare you to try viewing how you appear from other angles besides the waist up.  Apple-shaped ladies, you really need to check your side view before leaving the house. That blouse or dress that skims so beautifully over your bust/tummy from the front may look like an absolute tent from the side.  Those pants that, from the front, make you look so skinny may be giving you "flat butt syndrome" from the side.  While trying to disguise figure "flaws" we often make them worse by throwing a bunch of fabric over it and hoping no one notices.  It would be better to gather in that tent-like top with a loosely tied belt or sash than be seen as if you're wearing a mumu!  In my opinion, you negate your femininity of apperance by hiding under vast amounts of unnecessary fabric.

5.   Your bust is not your enemy. - Please hear me out on this.  Your bust, full or large or downright impossible as it may be, was given to you as part of your female genetic heritage.  It is not something to be ashamed of, it is not something you have to hide and it does not define you as a woman.  I am so tired of seeing beautiful and attractive women hunching over to hide their larger busts, wearing tents to hide their larger busts, or buying ill-fitting undergarments so their busts sit lower and are hopefully less noticeable.  Ladies, your bust is one of your most beautiful and feminine features. I believe you need to embrace it as such.  Of all body shapes, you need to have a professional bra fitting by someone other than a 21-year-old size 34B sales rep at Victoria's Secret!  If your weight fluctuates by 15 pounds up or down, you need to be re-fitted.  If your bra strap sits high up on your back, if your cups sag and don't sit at your armpits, if your straps dig into your shoulders and leave huge painful grooves, you need a new bra!!  And you probably won't find one on the sale rack at Walmart for $3. Invest in some good quality undergarments that will last for years.  Get those girls up where they are supposed to be and then learn to dress them accordingly.  You are doing yourself a disservice by trying to hide what God has given you.  I am NOT advocating flaunting your assets for the world to see.  I am saying you should stand up straight in a well fitting bra and then dress your body in a way that's modest and feminine. It is possible! It might be harder for you to find well-fitting button-down shirts than other people, but it is possible.  You might have to wear a cami under almost everything, but that's not hard.  You might have to give up v-neck tshirts, but that's doable.  If you feel that men objectify you for your assets, or can't talk to you without looking at your chest....but you have done what you can to be modest in your dress and actions....it is not your fault.  You are only embracing what God has given you as a female. And just know that some of us size A and B cups, would kill to trade places with you for just one day!

Goodness, I write a novel when I get started.  I'm going to have to find pictures to put in these posts to break up the monotony of thousands of words running endlessly together.  Just a few more short notes and then I'll be done.

Decidedly unfeminine fashion mistakes made by Apple shapes:

Wearing low rise pants to avoid accomodating your belly and thereby looking as if your legs are 2 feet long and risking the inevitable "coin slot" moment when you bend over.

Wearing klingy tops or tshirts that highlight any excess weight (i.e muffin top).  Apple shapes carrying excess tummy weight are very prone to muffin top.

Wearing sleeveless tops that pull across your bust, creating the effect known as "underarm gaping" where everyone can see the majority of your armpit and then parts of your bra.

If you have any questions about any of the terms I used in this post, don't hesitate to ask.  I forget that not everyone reads fashion blogs every day :-)  Also, if you are an Apple shape and have any tips for feminizing your look, I'd love to hear them!