Dressing the Asparagus

As mentioned in yesterday's post, the inner woman is where true femininity springs; however, we must also remember that our outer apperance and mannerisms affect how others view our femininity.  Although we all believe in truly getting to know someone before forming lasting opinions about them, it's a universal trait to assess a person on first glance and form some kind of opinion about them.  That opinion may change over time once you become familiar with them, or your inital assessment may just be reinforced.  But regardless, anytime I present myself to the world all they can see initially is that outer appearance.  I can be the most calm, composed and feminine soul on the inside, but if I sclump around in ratty sweatpants, an ill-fitting stained tshirt and flip flops from Old Navy I negate my inward femininity; at least at first glance and let's face it....sometimes that first glance is all you get!  I may never see that lady in the check-out line at Kroger again, so her first impression of me is all she has.  And personally, I'd rather leave her with an impression of femininity and womanly grace/character than one of slovenly disregard.  Again, I will repeat, being a feminine woman is not ONLY about our outward appearance, but it's my opinion that we should have some kind of regard for our outward appearance else we fail to represent the true nature of our heart or our God.

Now, on to dressing the Asparagus shape.  Admittedly, I have no experience with this body shape; my own shape being that of a pear.  However, I read and enjoy the blogs of several very fashionable women who have this straight up and down (or ruler) shape and I've picked up quite a few tips and ideas from them.  Below is a link to a blog written by Molly who is an avid Anthropologie fan and colorphile who puts together some of the most inventive outfits with colors, patterns and textures.   She is a self-confessed "ruler" shape but does a wonderful job feminizing and working with what she has.

Meet Molly from Anthromollogies:  http://anthromollogies.com/

The basic rule of thumb when you are an Asparagus is to attempt to give yourself some curves.  If you've noticed, supermodels walking the high fashion runways do not have curves. Their bust-waist-hip measurements are almost the same. This makes for one long shape with no (or very little) definable curves.  However, in most cultures and in the mainstream culture of our own country, the absence of curves (those soft, "fluid" areas of the body) is viewed as unfeminine, boyish, and colt-like.  I've heard all these terms used to describe the "ruler" shape - it's not just my opinion!  So, if you have no curves and want them, or just want to dress your body in a bit more feminine manner, here are a few tips.  Again, I don't speak from experience, just some knowledge gained from others.  You can find a plethora of information online or in magazines for maximizing what God gave you!

1.  The belt is your best friend. - I believe this is true for almost any shape body, but especially for someone trying to create a waist.  And I'd go further and say a skinny or medium width belt is even better.  You can throw a belt on over pretty much anything, cinch it tight (or as tight as you feel comfortable) and instantly give yourself definition through your midsection. It may not be much, but it will draw the eye to that area of your body and the way your clothes blouse out above and below will give the appearance of a waist that you might not have.  If you visit the blog I linked to above you can see numerous occasions where she uses a belt to create a waist, where she doesn't have much of one.

2.   Pencil skirts can be flattering (most of the time). - Most off-the-rack pencil skirts are cut for women with less definition between their waist and hips....and this would be the Asparagus shape.  A great-fitting pencil skirt can do wonders for giving boyish shapes the apprearance of having hips.  One word of caution, though.  If you have a very flat butt and wear a pencil skirt, the view from the side will be less than attractive.  You'll look even more like a stick.  There are, however, some pencil skirts that have seams that cut in toward your butt in the back. These are more flattering, but are harder to find.  Anyway, always check the side view in what you wear to see if you're creating curves or diminishing what you already have.

3.   Skinny jeans?  Yes, you can rock them! - The skinny jean phase is not going away anytime soon.  They are making ones with higher rises, varying colors, ankle zippers, cropped lengths and numerous other incarnations for anyone's pallette.  You, of all people, can wear skinny jeans as they're meant to be worn.  You will not look like a sausage stuffed in a casing and your legs will look like they are 5 miles long.  If femininity is your goal through, balance out that skinny tightlegged effect with a flowy blouse and beautiful shoes.  You could certainly get away with wearing skinny jeans and a tight T and sky-high heels....but honestly this is more nightclub than feminine.  Skinny jeans, with a beautiful flowy top and patterened ballet flats is feminine, on trend, and comfy.

4.   Be careful with the boy-cut trend. - You, of all shapes, can wear boy-cut clothing and wear it well.  If you're on the smaller end of the size spectrum, you can even shop in the boys section of stores.  Boyfriend pants, hipster vests, Converse with skinny jeans; it'll all look good because boy-cut clothes are made for women with no hips, a very indefinable waist and insignificant bust.  However, I would challenge you to look beyond this type of trend for one reason alone - it's not very feminine.  I'll admit, you can look sexy wearing menswear, you can look cool wearing menswear, you can look like an I-don't-care-I-just-wake-up-this-way-every-morning hipster; but, would you look feminine?  Just a thought!

5.   Wear a beautiful necklace. - Nothing draws the eye up toward your face (and away from lacking curves) more than a beautiful necklace.  If you have tons of money, feel free to buy a huge emerald choker and wear that to the mall. But for most of us, fashion jewelry is our only hope of having statement jewelry.  Highlight your face by picking up a few statement pieces that match lots of things in your wardrobe.  Also, pretty earrings are a good choice for drawing attention to your face.  For me, a beautiful pair of dangly earrings instantly makes me feel more feminine....especially if they swish lightly against my neck when I walk.

6.   Wear proper undergarments. - This is something I will do a separate post on sometime in the future.  But, just a brief mention here.  Buy a bra that fits and lifts your breasts as much as possible.  Push-up bras are your friend.  Get a professional fitting and make the most of what you have.   You'd be amazed at what a good push-up bra can do for your bust, but also for the way you feel about yourself (I speak as a small-chested woman, so I know!).  Also, if you're up for personal enhancement, or torture as some people describe it, you can invest in some shaping undergarments.  They have shapers that will pull in your waist, padded shapers that will give you a nice butt, shapers to push up your bust...and they don't look like they came from the seedy underworld of lingerie.  Try www.spanx.com for some ideas.  And one more thing on this note: there's nothing that will make you feel more feminine and womanly than lacy undergarments. Don't just buy them for your husband. Buy them for yourself.  It's like a special secret no one knows but you!  So, if you're feeling less than curvy, or decidedly unfeminine for one reason or another, slip on something special underneath your utilitarian work or mom-at-home clothes and revel in that little bit of femininity that is yours alone....and maybe your husband's when he gets home!

Any Asparagus shapes out there want to chime in on other ways to create curves or feel feminine?