Picture with me a woman seated at a table having dinner with her fiance. She is seated facing the door to the restaurant and they are engaged in conversation. Someone walks in the door to eat and the woman at the table surreptiously surveys the new entrant from top to bottom, all while maintaining the conversation with her future spouse. With the quirk of an eyebrow, noticed only by her fiance, she conveys a message of distate, censure, pride or sometimes acceptance. She does this little charade with everyone who enters the restaurant. What would you think of a woman who compared herself to every other person walking in the door? What would you think if you could see inside her head to witness the negative comparisons but also the prideful feelings of superiority? What would you think if I said that woman was me? Comparing myself to others is probably the biggest struggle with sin in my entire life...it's not pretty.
I have a sneaking suspicion that most people struggle with comparisons between themselves and others. It might not be the huge battle that it is for me....but then again, it may. Men are subject to these thought patterns, but I think we, as woman, are far more prone to comparisons and then - past the comparisons - the horribly negative thoughts invoked by those comparisons. Do any of the following internal conversations sound familiar?
"Her house is so beautiful! Look at the beautiful framed pictures of her children. Her furniture is spotlessly clean and she has so much open space. Gosh, I can't even remember the last time I mopped my floors! My kids school pictures for the past 3 years are still in their vinyl envelopes. What kind of mom and housekeeper am I?"
"Look at that outfit....it's perfection. I bet she has a closet full of clothes like that with shoes to match. What am I doing in these sweat pants in public? Is that a coffee stain on my shirt? Who goes out of the house looking like this? Me, that's who...."
"I am so fat! The mirror doesn't lie. Look at the way my fat bulges over my pants and those stretch marks - they'll be there til the day I die. How could my husband ever find me attractive anymore? I bet so-and-so doesn't have stretch marks. She sure doesn't look like she has any flab. I bet her husband is all over her! Guess it's time for another diet."
"Why am I even at church today? My kids clothes don't match and Johnny didn't brush his teeth. I forgot my Bible and yelled at my husband this morning because he was watching ESPN instead of getting dressed. That lady sitting in front of me probably doesn't deal with stuff like this. Her hair and makeup are perfect, her children are in matching outfits and all have their Bibles ready, and her husband has his arm around her like she's a precious treasure. How can God love and bless me unless I do a better job as a Christian wife and mother?"
Ladies, nothing can steal your joy as a feminine Christian woman more than these types of thoughts! They lead us away from God and instill in us the lie that "I am not enough." I am not organized enough to decorate my house and keep it clean. I am not stylish enough to be relevant in this culture. I am not pretty enough, skinny enough, or tall enough to meet expectations. I am not a good enough wife, mother, housekeeper. I am not spiritual enough to please God. Aren't you tired of not being "enough"?
The cold, hard fact is that - on our own - we are never enough. We are thorougly depraved sinners with a heart filled with deceit and sin. Look it up in Jeremiah 17:9. It doesn't get much plainer than that. We are never naturally content. We always look outside ourselves to find validation and then all we find is other people searching for the same thing from us. We are created beings who rebelled against our Creator and, in our natural state, flout that rebellion in His face at every turn. There is nothing desirable, perfect or good in any of us - in our natural state. However, in one simple phrase God overrides all of our inadequacies. He calls himself "I AM". He IS what we are not. He, put simply, is enough. And when the love of One who is "enough" embraces us, then only through that love and embrace can we, too, be "enough". If you are a child of God, you are enough. This is not to say that there is no room for improvement in your life; but you, as a human being lovingly designed by God, are enough. You may not have the latest fashions, a blog-worthy house filled with children and a husband who adores you, a perfectly toned body, or a model Christian walk - but you have Christ! He has loved you, chosen you, given you His hard-won and priceless righteousness, intercedes before a just and holy God for you and declares there is nothing else you need to do to gain His favor and acceptance. How could that possibly not be enough for us? There is nothing else we need. You, in Christ, are enough. Don't let your comparisons and insecurities blind you to the truth! What's worse is that this lie is usually not propogated from outside sources, although that can and does happen. Most often, we tell this lie to ourselves...over and over again. We believe the lie and by doing so, tell our Savior that he is not enough for us; that we need something else (more possessions, a skinnier body, a bigger house, a more romantic husband, approval, etc) in order to be happy and fulfilled. Don't believe the lie! Don't get caught up in comparing yourself to others who walk a different path, in a different body, in a different family and with different possessions. Rejoice in Christ as your "all in all". You will be far more content and fulfilled if you do!
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