Weight loss & maintenance - what worked for me

In light of what I wrote earlier this week, and also as a way to get down in a semi-permanent place my thoughts on this subject after several years, I'm going to post about what worked for me as far as weight loss and maintenance.  Please bear in mind that what works for one person may not work for all people.  You may take what I say here and try it with drastically different results than what I achieved.  I am not a bariatric doctor nor do I claim to have all the answers. My sister-in-law does physical fitness for a living and so if you have any difficult questions, I'd probably refer you to her!  But with all that said, I wanted to document what I did to lose the weight, what I tried over the first 4 years of weight loss maintenence and finally, what I've been doing with great success (for me) this year.

First, here are some very important points:

 

1.  Your weight or body shape does not, and never will, define you as a woman or a child of God.

2.  Although you may be content to be overweight, there are real health benefits to be had in dropping excess weight.

3.  Your battles with your self-image and food will not disappear as the weight comes off. 

4.  It is possible to lose weight and keep it off for the long term...but it is never easy.  There are no quick fix, long term weight solutions. Be prepared to work at it for the rest of your life.

The Honeymoon Phase:
My initial weight loss came by good 'ol calorie counting and hard physical workouts.  It was the same for every person I ever met in the gym that was making progress with their weight loss goals.  The loss was slow (1-2 pounds per week) but steady until I lost the intial 50 pounds.  In that initial period, I did not eat McDonalds or bake a lot of cakes. It helped to be accountable to my personal trainer in that first 5-6 week period.  He was impartial, didn't know me outside the gym and I didn't feel judged as a person if he rebuked me for my eating (i.e. previous attempts at having my poor husband keep me accountable).  Living up to someone else's preset expections has always been easy for me, so when he told me to be at the gym "x" times per week and eat this and that....and  I knew I'd have to answer to him at our next session....well, I wanted to be the best little weight loss student there was!  When my rather expensive sessions with him were up, I had already dropped close to 20 pounds and was excited about my progress.  He left me with some workouts written on a piece of paper and encouraged me to keep up with my eating plan; and I've never seen him again.  So, I continued to count calories, eat as healthily as I could (with many slipups, of course) and work out obsessively.  So, counting calories will help you lose weight; as most everyone already knows. Working out in some way (cardio or lifting, or preferably both) will ramp up your weight loss and help to reshape your body.  I hate to sweat, but I hated my flabby body more than the sweat, more than the restrictive meals, and more than the early morning alarm clocks.  And it worked....for a time.

The Intevening Years:
So, most people accomplish what I did above at some point in their life.  Whether losing 10 pounds for a cruise, 20 pounds after a baby comes, or to meet some other goal - we all lose some weight and feel that we have conquered the world.  But then comes the hard part.  If you think it's hard to lose the weight, it's 10 times harder to keep it off for the long term.  There's an excitement in dropping a dress size, putting on pants you haven't worn in 5 years or buying new underwear because your old ones no longer stay up.  But what happens eventually is there are no more exciting plateaus to reach.  You've reached your goal, and now what?  What happens most often is we resort right back to the way we were eating before we met our goal...and the weight comes back.  This is the lose/gain roller coaster most women have ridden at some point or other.  It's not terribly hard to eat grilled chicken and salads when you're trying to lose 20 pounds because that end goal is getting nearer and your pants are getting looser.  But it's hard to continue to eat grilled chicken and salads for the neverending future!  Honestly, this is where most people fail in their weight loss goals.  And I can state for a fact that if I wasn't such a gym fanatic over those first 3 years after losing the weight, I would have put it all back on.  Working out at the gym for 1-2 hours, 5 days a week, burned enough calories for me to be able to eat what I wanted within reason.  So, gradually, after losing the weight I moved back to eating at Mcdonalds, pumpkin spice donuts at Dunkin Donuts, and baking lots of goodies in my own kitchen.  So, lesson learned (albeit not necessarily a healthy one) - if you work out hard enough you can eat whatever you want. I did go through spurts of careful eating - usually in response to a particularly hard negative-thought period, or if a friend at the gym challenged me to try something new, or if I tried on clothes at the store and I no longer fit into every sz 8 I pulled off the racks.   The problem is that most people are not going to compulsively workout at the gym and therefore, there's nothing stopping the weight from coming back.  But here's another lesson learned which turned out to be far more important for the future.  After 3 more years of working out, I realized I wasn't getting any smaller.  Even during the times I cut back on eating what I wanted and ate "clean", I would only lose a few pounds and those pounds would be won with sweat and tears.  Then as soon as I quit my challenging eating plan, those few pounds would come back and I'd be right back where I was. Never putting on those 50 pounds again, but also getting no smaller for all my efforts.  It's frustrating and disheartening, to say the least.  Toward the end of those 3 years and after doing a lot of research and reading on the topic, I came to the conclusion that my body is rather happy at a size 6/8 and will fight my efforts to lose any more weight.  There comes a point in your weight loss journey where your body will stabilize and, outside of enormous unsustainable effort on your part, will not go any lower in weight/size.  I think if many woman would quit trying to obtain an ideal set by Hollywood or New York City and listen to their bodies they would be far happier, content and not starving all the time.  I must end this part though with another observation.  At the end of this 3 year period, I was burned out on the gym (and had quit going), I was eating whatever I wanted (and had put 15 pounds back on) and I was not happy.  Weight loss is not a cure-all for your emotional well-being and happiness.  I'm raising my hand as the poster child for this thought!

My Current State:
In October of last year I started toying with a revolutionary idea to try in 2012, but first I wanted to see if I could maintain my weight by careful eating only (I'd already quit going to the gym).  This plan was an utter failure and I quickly put on 15 pounds over the holidays.  So, lesson learned - the gym workouts were the only reason I had kept the weight off as long as I had.  But I was so TIRED of going to the gym.  After contemplating for 2 months, I decided to commit to eating a certain way for an entire year with no cheating.  No birthday cake, no special occasion celebratory treats, no Easter/Halloween candy, nothing.  It honestly took me 2 months to get up the nerve to even try it.  But after buying my pants last winter in a size bigger than I'd worn in 4 years, I knew it was time to do something.  And here's my grand eating plan for 2012 - eat natural.  Sounds easy, right?  Yeah, until people look at you like your crazy and your own mother says she has no idea why you would ever commit to something like that, much less be successful at it!  By "eat natural" I meant that I would eat nothing processed or man-made (man made = not in its natural form).  That pretty much meant meat, veggies and fruits, and rice.  And not made into casseroles or mashed up with 5 other ingredients.  I would drink water and coffee.  My only treat would be extremely dark chocolate.  And yes, people think I'm crazy.  However, it is now 10 months into 2012 and I can honestly say that food is now in its proper place in my life and I feel more balanced and natural in maintaining my weight than I ever have in my life.  There's no more planning what to eat at the next meal, eating snacks between meals, looking forward to celebrations just for the cake and ice cream....and there's also no more weight fluctuations.  I dropped those excess 15 pounds in the first few months, albeit very slowly, and the weight has even crept down farther over what I'd lost while going to the gym.  I have not worked out one day this year (unless you count the occasional family walk), have not restricted myself with calories, fat content, portion size or mealtimes, and eat chocolate almost every day.  I no longer own a scale and have no idea how much I weigh.  All I know is that every single thing in my closet fits and fits well, and those items are a size 6 or 8.  That's all I need to know.  My stomach is not flat or hard anymore, my calves are normal sized, and I no longer have the biceps I once did.  However, weight maintenance is no longer arduous work and my cellulite has not returned (a blessing!) even if I'm softer all over than I was before.  Lesson learned - I can give up foods happily for the long term if the trade-off is a balanced approach to eating and an effortless weight loss maintenance.  The thing is, what I'm doing may not work for you.  You may need to find your own weight loss "nirvana".  And that's fine, it's wonderful, it's normal!  On the other side of the intervening years of weight loss maintenance, you will HAVE to find something that you can work with over the rest of your life. Because if you, at any time, go back to the way things were before you lost the weight, you will regain it.  That's why it's a lifelong struggle...for some of us more than others.  Food can be addicting - whether it's in the way it makes you feel, or the comfort it brings after a bad day, or the fun it provides as part of a get together.  But food is just food....and that's all it ever needs to be.

So, in conclusion, here are all my "lessons learned" in an easy to read format:

 

1.  The doctors are right. Cutting calories and exercising really do work.

2.  If you work out hard enough and long enough, you can pretty much eat what you want.  But this is not necessarily healthy.

3.  There comes a point where your body is satisfied at its current weight/size, and any more sustained loss will be an enormous, unsustainable struggle. 

4.  Weight loss is not a cure-all for your negative body image, unhappiness, or (insert any number of problems here).

5.  I (note the "I" - this is a personal decision) can give up foods happily for the long term if the trade-off is a balanced approach to eating and an effortless weight loss maintenance. 

6.  You must find a balanced way of eating/exercising that you can maintain for the rest of your life.

 

Ladies, weight loss and physical health is a difficult subject for a lot of us.  We carry baggage from our genetics, our childhood/adolescence, negative thoughts and maybe negative comments from others, pressure from Hollywood or magazines, and myriad other sources.  Again, I would encourage you to lose excess weight for your own physical health; but during the struggle to lose or maintain, I encourage you even more to take that baggage to the Lord.  He is aware of your genetics because He gave them to you; He is aware of every negative comment, look or thought that you or others have made about yourself; He is not taken by surprise at the current trend to be thin and toned.  He knows and yet, even as we struggle, He loves us JUST THE WAY WE ARE.  What better thought in which to rest while on this life-long physical and emotional journey of weight loss and fitness?

 

As always, I am open to questions both here on the blog and privately.